New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
