Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
