i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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