i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
