I'm eating all of the evidence.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
