So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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