You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
