were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Randomize
