chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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