ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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