Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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