while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
