end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
