Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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