If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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