What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
