i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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