As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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