im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
