I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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