yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
