I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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