Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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