garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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