he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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