Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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