Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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