Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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