hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
