So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
