WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
