i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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