we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
