Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
