I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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