Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
