I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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