life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
