That's when you crack a 10am beer
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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