I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
