I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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