ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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