The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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