hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
