btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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