i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
