Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
