Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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