This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
