Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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