turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We need to get me chipped asap
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
