I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
