do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
